Worst Spontaneous Poses

Today I was looking through all of my Facebook photos that I was tagged in.  I like to get an idea of what my stalkers look at when they come to my profile.  (I like to think I have stalkers.  It makes me feel wanted.)  Anyway, as I scrolled through my tagged pictures I realized that I may have chased off any possible stalkers because of my awful photo poses.

Picture this:  My stalker comes to my Facebook page.  "Hmm, I wonder what Amber looks like now?  She used to be pretty cute".

As this said person scrolls through my pictures, a look of disgust forms.  "Oh geez.  Well, she went downhill."

I admit it; I take awful pictures.  I'm actually not sure if it's that, or if I'm just not that of an attractive person.  Either way, the pictures of myself are rarely appealing.  I started to realize a trend in my bad photos. To help you avoid bad poses, I have compiled my worst poses in one place.  You're welcome.

So here you go. Worst spontaneous poses a girl (or guy) can do:

The Poop Squat

What are all those girl on the bottom row squatting for?  That's why the picture is cut off.

Make It a Double

I imagine my voice is a few decibels lower.  "I love you baby".

Ugly Face Winner

"Hey everyone!  Let's make this picture our silly face!"  Silly face or the ugliest face I can manage?  It's such a fine line.

Chatty Clickclick

"Ohhhh he's sooooo cuuuu-" *click*.... I should have guessed my friend was taking the picture since the camera was pointed at me.  I also may think I look cuter when I talk than I really do.

Secret Teeth

Someone with full lips just can not pull this off and look good.  Ever seen a duck try to smile?  Well, now you have.

Head In, Body Out

"Guys.  Guys, am I in the picture? Guys? I'll just tilt my head to make sure my face gets in... the baby can stay out."

The Chin Is My Leader

I have such a carved chin, I point at things with it.  Thankfully, my guy was kind enough to make this a bad picture for both of us.

The Eyeball Pop

The thinking behind this pose has gotta be "Maybe my eyes can be as big as my mouth".  With enough stretching, maybe.

Rear and Turn

Please.  PU LEASE remind me to always turn completely around for pictures.  My butt will never look as good as I think it does.  Also, remind me to never wear my jean like that.

Don't you feel better about your awful pictures?

-Amber